“What are your religious beliefs?”
This was a challenging question for me. It came from a new acquaintance. I wrote this in August, 2011, in response to her question.
The image that came to me is one of a painting – a very complex painting with multiple layers of paint applied over the many years of spiritual questing and learning, testing and living. One very board brush stroke that is foundational for me is God as Creator – vast, mysterious, unknowable, majestic and awe inspiring. For me, God’s love is so vast that I can experience only tiny bits and moments of it through other people, through the stories of Jesus, through the beauty of flowers, through the creative process – God’s love is boundless and embraces everyone and all of creation. That is often a hard concept for me to take in – really, everyone. I do know when I drop into being judgmental, I lose my sense of connection to God. I do believe God is always there for us, always loving us and longing for us. Sometimes I can float in this awareness and other times I feel I have lost the connection from my side.
Various spiritual practices help me open to the connection. One is Sunday morning community worship. Others are prayer, music and meditation; Bible reading; the creative process; daily praying for peace in my family, leaders of the world, those on prayer lists, children, and in myself; praying with people I visit on behalf of the church; caring for others in tangible ways; my spiritual direction practice; and being on retreats. This October, I am attending a 10 day silent retreat focused on Centering Prayer at the Trappist Abbey in Oregon.
Last year, I listened to a series of CD’s narrated by Cynthia Bourgeault of her book, Encountering the Wisdom Jesus. I was very moved by her understanding of the different approaches to Jesus in the Western and Eastern traditions. She explained the differences between Soteriology and Sophiology (neither of those terms had been familiar to me) Now those understandings have become part of my painting and have helped me grapple with some of my own inner conflicts around my very early Southern Baptist teachings of my grandparents, the Congregational teachings in my confirmation classes, explorations in other religious paths, and my return to the United Church of Christ.